Every morning when you leave I’m a jam jar
on the cusp of opening in a pressurized clack
Ownership is antiquated and very modern
I was sold to you, but only as an idea planted
in the folds of your brain during fertilization
I really desire more of everything, more mirrors
and speckled bowls. I like to pad myself out like
a crash test dummy
I could be the cultivator of soil, I am the occupier
of indoor space. I’m at ease with my riches being
pennies I have in the currency of thoughts you give
I’m somehow glad you take less time to come back
from the bathroom, interiority of survival remains
female, remains mine
As mammals we are fairly simple I have begun to
see everything as motivation for survival for example
when people mention duck down sometimes I do
I bled on the bed much further up than
expected last night, exactly where
you would expect a head.
Pimpled storm of warning
cover white hot interior
Children in India want
the flesh you offer
Hypoglycin A, brain-swell
acid rainfall to the jungle
of an empty stomach
Plastic lids click, wandering
aisles of an anime shop
where you and I linger
Some things depend only
on the conditions.
Looking through available jobs today I was reminded of hours spent playing the sims. The increasing levels of annual pay and their reflected social castes seemed to be a constant in both. What was fun in the game, where you could speed up acts in which only the outcome was desired (cooking, learning a hobby) and work was an unexperienced blank that skipped back to home, was the slowed time where you could interact with other avatars, instead earning their emotional constancy. You could also earn (gain) an endless supply of household fixtures, never was it complete or finite (or you could always hit hard reset and go back to the start). To do this you used a cheat for infinite money:
CTRL + SHIFT + C, then a small text box will appear in the upper left corner of the screen. Type the code into that box, and press ENTER. An exclamation point ! will repeat the last command, and a semicolon ; will let you stack commands. You can also use SHIFT + ARROW to highlight text, and CTRL + C and CTRL + V to copy and paste. Thus a very quick way to make a lot of money is to use the rosebud cheat, then type in !;!;!;!;!; then hold down the SHIFT key, and press the LEFT ARROW key to extend the highlight over the !;!;!;!;!; press CTRL + C to copy it, then press CTRL + V to paste it over and over again until it you start hearing a thumping noise (the line is too full). The game can only display §9,999,999, but you can have much much more.
Once this was completed and secured, then the real fun began, slowed down time. Even if I were a cleaner, I’d never know it, only kissing passionately my partner(s) and building labyrinthine walls filled with chaise longues and music equipment. The entangling with the game meant that sessions of 10 hours could achieve a whole lifeline that moved forwardly or sideways, or be completely scrapped. The omnipotent feeling it gave perhaps blinded some not-fully-formed adults to the contest for self-sufficiency in everyday life, and that not all things can be deleted, removed, or altered so easily. Little did we know that not the floors, the walls, the chairs, the pictures, the plants, the gardens, the beds, the lamps, the cabinets, the fish tanks, the pools or the entertainment systems would be the most difficult to come to have, but instead it would be the midday meal or the means to get to work, having none of these sensations inscribed in the subtle twinge of fatigue in a wrist.
Heather O’Donnell is an emerging poet from Glasgow, Scotland. In 2016, she completed her degree in English Literature and Philosophy at the University of Glasgow, submitting a collection of poetry based around the politics of the female body online. That summer, she co-edited and contributed to Departures, a zine of writing and visual art launched by her classmates. She has published poetry in Lost and Found zine, GUM, Foxes of Glasgow Anthology, SPAM zine, TYCI and Departures zine, and contributed numerous articles to magazines and websites including GUM, Rave Child, TYCI and The Skinny. You can find her on Twitter.